Our hamsters have hit puberty. The term puberty may actually a little misleading, since apparently hamsters can reach sexual maturity at as early as five weeks old, but it seems they have arrived at a point of development where they establish a social hierarchy. This is the information I garnered today from an overqualified Pet Smart employee, after driving nearly two hours from Taos to Santa Fe due to some recent, unsettling hamster drama in our home.
When I first arrived at Pet Smart I cornered an unsuspecting cashier on break and began rambling nonsensically about the domestic violence that had probably occurred between Tiny and Kookookutie. She quickly went to retrieve the “hamster specialist” but was intercepted by an overeager, teen-aged, acne ridden staff member who happened to own two mice and who desperately wanted to help me, though she seemed to have zero experience in the hamster department. Thankfully, the hamster specialist appeared in time to intervene. She was young, serene, and cerebral in an “I could be a veterinarian one day” kind of way and I could tell she really knew what she was talking about. The news was exactly what I had feared:
Jack and Liam are two alpha males who may appear to be small, harmless, friendly and cute but who could actually potentially kill each other in their efforts to establish dominance.
Well, that’s not exactly what the smart Pet Smart employee said, but it’s how I heard it. Because, really, this is not just about our hamsters.
Tiny and Kookookutie came into our lives about six months ago. They are Robovroski dwarf hamsters. Robo hamsters are known to be tiny, curious, timid, and very active. They don’t speak or squeak as much as most hamster species. Ours are male litter mates. In other words, they have quite a few things in common with Jack and Liam. And just like our twin sons, Robo hamsters are nocturnal. In fact, Robos are known for running up to twenty miles a night in about eight and a half hours. Just ask any of our recent house guests.
They are adorable, not creepy like mice or gerbils, and not as big or bulky as the teddy bear hamster my sister Elena had when we were kids which she aptly named Nippy. They are also acrobatic and highly entertaining and up until this week, had appeared very social and compatible with each other. They would spin for hours at a time on their wheel together, and sleep together cozily in a little puff of their soft grayish tan and white fur.
When Oban noticed one night last week that the fur on Kookookutie’s backside was disappearing, I feared the dreaded wet tail disease, but while no longer bushy tailed, Kookoo was still bright eyed. He was eating, drinking, active and appeared totally healthy. By the following day, his rump was red and raw. The boys and I brought him to the vet, who suspected Tiny was the likely culprit.
Somehow I convinced Oban that it would be his job to apply nightly warm compresses to Tiny’s bare butt, as the vet instructed, and then rub his wounds with a little antibiotic ointment; a seven day ordeal that he has been detailing on his Facebook page. We removed Tiny from the cage and put him in a box in the bathtub since there is not a single store in our little town that sells hamster cages. I placed Kookookutie’s cage in the bathtub too so they could still see and smell each other.
When I finally managed to get to Pet Smart, the “specialist” told me that it was highly unlikely to end up, as we did, with two Robo alpha males from the same litter. (I explained to her that although these were our first hamsters, this was not the first time time this kind of thing had happened to us.) She pointed out that typically one hamster would act submissive while allowing the other to become more dominant, thereby allowing for peaceful and safe coexistence. In our case, however, she recommended separate cages placed next to each other, and only supervised play time with each other once Kookoo healed.
At the same time as all of this hamster business was unfolding, I had been noticing a remarkable increase in the already unnerving amount of competition between Jack and Liam. They both seemed frustrated and edgy, short-tempered with each other and generally stressed out. Though still inseparable, they were competing morning, noon and night, jockeying for position while bike riding, skiing, running, swimming, playing, eating, peeing, sleeping, in a relentless quest for first, better, longer, faster, higher, more! It was becoming draining to watch, impossible to referee, and even more difficult to prevent.
After six years of respecting their fierce desire for togetherness, I suggested separate bedrooms to them, and found myself dreaming of separate classrooms, although there is only one class per grade in their small school. We brought up the topic of their seemingly competition-induced stress with their kindergarten teacher at their parent teacher conference last week. Since they tend to be shy and well behaved, just like those little Robos, their predicament is not always apparent to others. Their kindergarten teacher now has them going on imposed “vacations” from each other, several times during each school day, which seems to be relieving the pressure. And since these vacations have been externally mandated, Jack and Liam do not carry the weight of feeling like they are betraying or abandoning each other during these times of separation.
Maybe this “vacation” concept would help explain why, when I asked Liam yesterday what he wanted to drink with his lunch, he replied, in all seriousness, “A beer.” Tiny and Kookookutie are on vacation too. They’re not exactly drinking margaritas, but Kookoo is recovering, and we will spend our spring break listening to the squeaks of two wheels spinning all night long.
